Southern Hospitality

I think I would like to write about my recent move to Florida. Yes, that's it - a short story about the new land I now call home - Lake County, situated in the heart of Florida.

Being a true Floridian now, having lived here for almost three months, I have formed many opinions about the people here, the weather and an assortment of miscellaneous topics. I should mention now - the title of this story has no relevance, and it doesn't matter.

I'll begin with the weather, as that has probably been the most common daily thought I have had. If ever there was the perfect winter to move south from the Empire State, this was surely the one. Daily, as I hear reports about the sub-freezing weather coupled with the ever piling up snowfalls of the north, I rejoice in the fact that I am able to leave my home daily, sporting nothing but shorts and tee shirt, sunglasses and suntan oil. As I sit here with the mercury nicely hanging around that eighty mark, I can't help but think of just how much I miss warming the car and clearing the driveway before I head out to purchase melting crystals and hot chocolate. Yes, I tend to be sarcastic.

My neighborhood is wonderful. Old people are a very interesting breed of humanoids. Full of stories from yesteryear along with generally laid back and pleasing dispositions. This to me, is essential in that it helps me  deal with the fact that most of them are somewhat challenged when attempting to operate vehicles and golf carts. "Scary" is probably a fairly accurate description of the driving that I witness daily. In the event of my untimely demise, just assume that I was run over while running or biking, by a legally blind motor vehicle operator, with a good disposition and a walker.

Florida has weird creatures! Okay, so I'm not really a bug and reptile kind of guy. That doesn't necessarily make me bad. Hell, I've just recently learned to start liking dogs. My first few weeks here found me becoming up close and personal with the large, juicy, fast and disgusting Palmetto bug. You don't need to tell me that I'm a few hundred sizes larger, it doesn't matter. These creatures -in a word- are fast! Perhaps if I didn't think about them possibly taking up residence in my mouth while I sleep at night, I may be better apt to deal with them. They seek water. My mouth, while I sleep could be viewed as a water fountain to them, plain and simple. Enough said.

Snakes and lizards also abound here. Geckos are pretty neat actually. Each month when my insurance bill is due, this funny little gecko magically appears on my kitchen window screen and watches me enjoy my morning coffee as if to remind me that I really need my insurance here, more than ever before. Can you figure out which company I insure with?  Geckos are fun and fast but unlike their palmetto playmates, they aren't disgusting.

Finally, I would like to comment on the terrain. I was told prior to moving here, that I would miss running on challenging routes, due to the lack of hills. News flash - Florida does have hills! All right, so maybe this is not like the Adirondacks or the Catskills, but Florida is not entirely flat. The central Florida area that I now call home, offers some notable changes in elevation. Enough to make this aging body work fairly hard during my daily run. Rest assured, if you see me sweating profusely after a workout, it's either because of the hilly course I just ran, or an all out scramble to avoid becoming road-kill by my golf cart wielding neighbors. I wonder if golf carts can be considered deadly weapons in Florida?

Was my relocation to the Sunshine State a good choice? You betcha!

-Safe Riding

~The Chief~